She said her name was "party"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
