Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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