What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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