Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
