If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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