I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
