she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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