I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
