There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
