im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
