first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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