would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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