He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
