Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
