It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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