Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
