oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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