1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
