Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
