I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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