Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
