His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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