That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
