the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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