Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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