wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
