If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Fuck appropriateness.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
