I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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