at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
