FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
