Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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