I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
