if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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