Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
