Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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