My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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