Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
