But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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