she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
