I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
