Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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