Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
