It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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