I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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