my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
