perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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