Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
