i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
