you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
