that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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