Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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